Sassy Saturday

Today is the start of my 5th week back with Weight Watchers and what a great start it is!  When I weighed in this morning I was down 3 LBS!!  That's right, you read that correctly I lost 3 damn pounds this week!  Oh hot damn!  You know the movie, How Stella Got Her Grove Back, well (prepare for corny haha) this is How April Got Her Weight Loss Back!  Holla!  I am so excited! Like, every week I am nervous going in and getting on that scale.  I feel like I could have done better or I think back about the food I ate and made myself believe that I did not do so well.  Apparently I am doing well.  I want to reach my goals so bad!  I can taste them.  First big goal I am still trying to reach and I will do it! To get to less than 200 Lbs.  Every week I am getting a little bit closer!  Right now as of today I only have 30.2 Lbs to make it to 199! I can not wait!  That is going to be an amazing day!  For now I am going to keep on trekking.

Saturday's Weigh In

So Saturday went really well.  This past week I had lost 2.6 lbs!  Heck yeah!  Since we have been making bread and will continue to make bread I decided instead of taking it all home , where I will eat it whether I am hungry or not.  I am stopping by my work on the way home and dropping it off for my coworkers.  :)  It is a win win.  They get fresh warm bread and I get to get rid of it without wasting it.  YAY!  What is really cool is that I am giving bread to the Executive Chef and the Sous Chef at the hotel.  Yeah, trying to get them to love my baking skills, so far so good.
Also, I have added a great workout to my schedule.  It is not much yet but I love it.  Every Thursday I  do Yoga at this awesome Yoga studio downtown.

  I go at noon which works out perfectly because I get out of school at 10:35 AM.  I walk down to the square, study or work on homework, then I go do Yoga for an hour.  You know how many activity points I earn for 60 mins of Yoga? 5 yeah that is right 5 extra points towards food I can eat, yum!  After Yoga I catch the Max and head home to sleep before work that night.
Small baby steps again and I will get there, eventually.

The Breakdown

I had finally hit it, the dreaded breakdown where I just threw a temper tantrum and just accepted the fact that I was just going to fat the rest of my life.  The beginning of September I was struggling mentally, emotionally, and physically.  I was eating whatever was insight and if it wasn't insight I went to the store and got "it" whatever "it" was at the time.  I kept saying to myself I am just going to eat this and then I do better tomorrow.  Well, the Tomorrow I kept saying never came.  My weight has been bouncing up and and some downs, but being honest mostly up since I moved to Portland.  I thought I could do it alone, I thought since I had been so successful that clearly I knew how to do this and what to do.  Obviously not!  I bounced with 15 lbs back and forth, then the last few weeks I notice there is was no more bounce just a steady gain; 1 lb here, 2 lbs there.  I thought it is ok, a few stressful things started happening and I just blamed it on that.  Around the second week of September I started looking back into weight watchers.  That is what worked for me and clearly I needed to pay money to sit with strangers and just listen for me to lose weight.  I am still not really sure why that is but most of the women and the few men in there are roughly 6-20 years my senior.  Sometimes I feel like I am the only late 20's, early 30 's struggling with my weight and willing to go to weight watchers.  Which is fine, I can do this, I did it in Alaska so why am I struggling here in Portland? 

After weight in on 10/1/11

    
On September 10, 2011 I RE-JOINED weight watchers.  I am sucking up my cheap side and spending the damn money to sit with strangers and listen to their stories.  When I weighed in on that first day I was sadden to see how high my number had gotten again. I was tipping the scales once again at 235.4.....:(  then the next week 9/17/11 I had lost .4, 9/24/11 I had gained 2 lbs ( I blamed my finals week on this gain.  I was stressing losing my A in one of my classes) and to get us up to date I weighed in last Saturday 10/1/11 and I had lost 2.2 lbs.  Weight Watchers has changed a few things and now I think it is for the better.  First when you go in no more pulling your card and them writing down your weight.  Now you have a bar code and they scan you into the meeting then you go over to the scales and they scan you again, you get on the scale and the computer does the rest.  The best part is it automatically sends it to your tracker if you use the etools.  Plus the app they have is badass.  You can set alerts to send you messages about the time you eat to remind you to track and then it takes you right to the tracker.  I have tracked way more now that it is on my phone.  With my schedule all hectic I forget to write down what I eat so this is so much better.  I am loving it! 
My weigh in days are Saturdays because there is a location about .5 of a mile from my job and I usually work Friday nights so when I get off in the morning I can just walk over there.  My meetings are at 730 AM and I get off at 6:15 so it works out pretty well.  I am going to attempt to update this blog after weigh ins on Saturdays from here on out!  It is time for a change in my life, time for me to finally reach my goals, I am done with putting my weight loss in the back seat and thinking everything else is more important.  So here I go again, starting on this journey once again, only this time I will achieve my goals. 

Tough start

My first week of "getting back on track" did not happen.  I missed weigh in on Thursday 28th because I woke up late and was very late for work, more on that day in my other blog.  So I thought to myself it's OK I will just weigh in next week and maybe I will see a more of a loss.  Well, the 4th came and went.  Wow I need to get it together.  By Sunday Aug. 7th I said screw it and weighed in anyway.  I am still shooting for Thursdays.  On Sunday the 7th I was down by 1.8 LBS.  Slow start but I was happy with it. Then by that following Thursday (8/11/11) I weighed in again, sad to say I went up by .6 LBS.  BOO!  I will try harder this week. 

I have started eating some "new" foods, for me anyway.  For breakfast the past week I have been eating oatmeal with mixed nuts and a banana!  I am trying to eat more healthier meals throughout the day.  With my schedule that doesn't always happen.  I am still not getting enough food and therefore my weigh loss is all over the place.  I think I am going to try to plan my meals for a while and see if that helps.  With me always on the go, I may even try to pre-make some meals to grab and go.  Here lately I have been eating microwave WW meals while walking to the max to go to work.  That is not good.  I need to reevaluate my time.  I will get it, I just have to work a little harder.

Its been too long....

     There are always excuses to make when it comes to losing weight.  I should know, my whole life I always made excuses on why I was gaining weight or why I wasn't losing, and the big one WHY I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT!!  Everyone does it, it is just about accepting it and learning from it.  I find myself still making some of those excuses.  Oh work schedule, school schedule, just too tired, feeling lazy today, ect...  I do have a busy schedule and I don't have a lot of time for sleep most days, but still I should make time to reach my goals.  Being over weight SUCKS!!!!  Not to mention the "health" risks associated with being over weight.  It has been way too long since I have posted on this blog.  I have changed my mind set once again.  I have placed new goals  and new dates that I would like to reach these goals.  I dont' like to use the word deadline when referring to weight loss because it is going to be a lifetime thing.  I am going to have to work at it the REST of my life.   I have fully accepted this now, finally! 

Me walking home last week

     NEW GOALS: I would like to lose 40 lbs by the time I fly "home" (NC) in December.  I get out of school December 16 and I don't return to until Jan. 9.  I am going to be in NC for 1 week (due to work reasons) I am looking to fly out on the 16th and coming back on the 23.  Once I purchase my ticket I will have a better idea. 
I wasn't going to tell anyone about this goal, I was just going to do it; however I know myself and I know what drives me (now).  I NEED to talk about about, I NEED to prove it, I need to see the number on the scale.  I have told one of my friends here and she is SUPER supportive.  We go to school together and she said she would help if she could.  We go to school downtown and she works in Chinatown so everyday after school we walk to her work which is .8 of a mile.  Then I catch the max and get off before mine (Gateway Transit Center) and walk the rest the way home, I just googlemaped it and it is 1.1 miles. Heck yeah!!  I figured any extra walking would help.

I was going out last weekend, the most recent picture I have right now

   
 There is a Fred Meyer across the street from Gateway Transit center, so when I am walking home I stop by and get some groceries when I need them.  Well, Thursday, I stopped in there to purchase a scale, I got one that was put out by WW.  I figured it was worth a little extra money to get a nice one since this was how I was going to track my success.  I got home and opened it and and decided I couldn't wait I had to see how much I weighed.  not thinking clearly I used it on my carpet.  I stepped on it 10 different times and knew the number that I was seeing was NOT correct so I called my dad.  After talking to him I put it in my bathroom (on tile, duh haha) and I stepped on it 3 times and had the same reading, way more accurate.  then I went to bed and passed out.  Now the whole idea behind WW is being consistent when weighing in.  When I woke up I went pee and was about to hop in the shower and I decided that I usually shower about the same time every night before work so I stepped on the scale again and weighed myself.  I noted where the scale sits and the that is was about 815 PM.  I am going to use Thursday nights before work as my weigh in day.  I have to work every Thursday so this should be pretty consistent. 
     I going to try and update this blog every weekend with hopefully successful news about Thursday weigh-ins.  I am going to start my count over with my weight loss but when I reach my 40 lbs goal in December I will have lost 100 lbs.  Hell to the yeah on that.
Here is the data: Current weight 231.4 lbs once I lose 40 lbs I will be 191.4!!!  Multiple goals will be reach when this happens!!  I am looking forward to this new challenge.  So here I go....

Surpirse by size....

Yesterday I was feeling down in the dumps and I did not make healthy eating choices.  I was feeling sad and depressed, not motivated to do much of anything even though it was actually beautiful outside.  Well, this morning when I woke up, I had kind of the same sad, mopey feeling so I laid around for a little while and still feeling guilty for the food choices from yesterday.  I decided I needed to cheer myself up so I walked downtown and jumped a max to go to the mall so I could go buy some jeans from Old Navy, they were having a sale.  I walked in the mall and started going towards Old Navy when this store called DEB caught my eye.  I went in and they all sizes so I looked around and grabbed a few pairs of pants size 20 and one size 18 just to see.  I got in the dressing room and the 20's were too big, YAY!!!  Then I tried on the 18 and they were a comfy fit.  I decided to try a 16 on just for shits and giggles.  Well the damn things fit, now this style was a little too tight for my taste so I put them all back and started for Old Navy again.  Then Lane Bryant caught my eye.  I went and there and talked with one of the very knowledgeable associates and she helped me find jeans, shirts, and bras to try on.  Well, I found this really beautiful blue button down shirt that I just loved.  Then I was trying on all these jeans and I found my size.  I am super happy to report I am now in a size 16 average jeans!!!  They fit AMAZINGLY nice.



This was at the store!

  I love the dark wash, but the pair they had in dark wash was too short.  I ended up going out to another Lane Bryant to get a lighter color.  I hope that maybe I can order a dark pair but you know even the lighter pair looks damn good.  I ended up spoiling myself and I bought a brand new pair of jeans, 2 shirts, 2 bras, and 2 camis. 



Size 16 jeans Go Me!!!

 I got a purple button down like the one in the above picture.  I got a black one also like the one in the below picture.  I have not wanted to spend a lot of money on buying new clothes because I want to keep losing, but my thinking is, if I have clothes that actually fit and I am feeling good about myself then I should be able to snap myself out of this rut and get back on track with losing more weight.

 Everyday is struggle and it is just getting harder the more weight I still need to lose.  I will do it though. I am looking at this purchase today as an investment to losing more weight because as I am losing I will notice these clothes, that fit just right (they show my nice curvy body)



I have to show my booty!!!

  getting looser and that will be awesome.  Plus, I was able to wear my "big" clothes for quite awhile.  One more little bonus is that Tim (one of my roommates) said to me when I was telling how excited I was about buying clothes smaller than what I was use too, he said he could tell I have lost some weight and that I look good.  That is just being here in Portland!  YAY GO ME!! 

Clothes....

The other day I was walking around town and thought maybe I should try on some new clothes.  I haven't purchased "new" clothes since I started losing all this weight.  Now, it could go one of two ways: 1: get really happy because maybe I went down another size since last time I tried on clothes or the worst side, the side I don't want 2: Get really depressed because, since I have been gaining some weight since being in Portland I may have maintain the same size or went back up.  Knowing these are all options that could be, I stayed positive and went out anyway and tried on some clothes.  The last time I purchased a new shirt was in September.  My posting "buying a shirt" posted September 26, 2010.  That was for orientation at Fred Meyer in Alaska.  I didn't try on pants that day, but I will have you know I have that shirt still and now it is too big for me.  It "hangs" on me and I just don't really wear it anymore. 
I went into Ross, they were having a clearance sale and I am on a very tight budget.  I look through the clothes and found one pair of jeans and one shirt that I actually liked.  The shirt was a XL which is most cases equals to a size 18 and the jeans was a size 20.  I looked at the 18's but could not even find a pair I liked.  So I only tried these on and to my surprise, I thought they fit well.  The jeans were loose so I am hoping that next time I will find an 18 and they maybe loose.  I stood in front of the mirror for awhile, thinking to myself, WOW I have come a long way.  It would a shame to not keep going at this point.  I have lost (as of last WW weigh in) 62 LBS!!  I was only 28 LBS from one of my main goals.  I am trying to get it back together.  Standing there seeing how I looked in that outfit, opened my eyes, YES I CAN DO THIS, YES I WILL DO THIS!!!  This is the outfit that I thought looked pretty good...

I talked myself out of buying this outfit.  For a few reasons actually.  1: the entire outfit was roughly $28.00, I didn't need to spend that much on clothes 2: I don't want to buy another pair of pants in the 20's, I WANT to wait until I hit the teens again.  I don't go out too often, but when I do, it would be nice to have clothes that actually fit and that I feel amazing in.  I am off work this weekend so I may check out some thrift stores, but we will see.